We talk a lot about mental health, and the need to be aware of what to do when you or a loved one is experiencing mental distress. But the reality is, when it happens it can be overwhelming, and it’s not always easy to do the things that you know might help.
For anyone who has been depressed, leaving the house and going for a walk to get ‘exercise’, which is apparently good for your mental health, is the last thing you feel capable of doing. When one of my kids who experienced anxiety and OCD was having panic attacks, and obsessing that they couldn’t breathe, a doctor recommended a mindfulness app that had a breathing meditation. It made it worse.
Taking care of our mental health when we are feeling well is key. It is unavoidable that we will experience life events that can tip us over. Grief and loss, financial hardship, pain and trauma, loneliness and disconnection are all big experiences that can cause us to experience poor mental health. So here are a few things you can do if you or someone you know is feeling mentally unwell. It comes from my personal experience as someone who has experienced periods of mental unwellness and who has supported and loved others going through it. I am not a doctor. This is not medical advice. It’s lived experience.
1. Speak to someone who has had a similar lived experience. In mental health it’s called peer support. No one understands like someone who has been through it. And the positive thing is, that person gives hope and a pathway to recovery. Because they did it.
2. Cut back or stop your drinking. If you can. If you have a serious alcohol problem, you will need medical treatment. Sometimes we drink because we think it helps us cope with the hard stuff, but usually it amplifies everything and makes us feel worse. Stopping drinking will help you sleep better, and sleep is nature’s great healer.
3. Sleep! Make sure you or the person experiencing mental distress are getting enough sleep. It’s about sleep quality. There are sleep experts you can see to address this if it’s a problem. Poor sleep and lack of sleep can have significant impacts and negative impacts on your mental health.
4. Try not to isolate. Be in nature. This is hard, because for many people the last thing they want to do is socialise or be in public. In the UK they have this wonderful thing called social prescribing. You can go to the doctor and along with a referral to a psychologist they will literally prescribe a few hours a week at a community garden. It’s been shown that getting your hands in the soil, being in sunshine, and being outside in a community of people engaging in an activity like gardening is hugely beneficial for mental health.
5. The beach. It’s here. Go to it. It’s my teacher. I walk the beach most mornings. There is a gentle meditation in walking the shore. You don’t have to swim, but that is a bonus. It’s free. Doing something regularly is an important part of any recovery or restoration. It’s gentle exercise. And it’s a kind of meditation.
6. Go to your doctor and get honest about how you are feeling. Make sure you have a doctor who you trust. Building a relationship with a doctor who understands you is really important. Get your mental health plan in place.
7. Chat with a psychologist or mental health practitioner. Like any relationship, you sometimes need to try a few to find someone who you resonate with. Someone who you feel comfortable with and who you want to work with. When I was going through a rough patch in my early 30s I found the most wonderful woman. I saw her every week for 18 months. It changed my life. She taught me to be kind to myself.
8. Listen to music. Dance. Paint. Use clay. Creativity is powerful. It’s not talking. Sometimes being in a non-verbal space is transformative. I don’t know why, but it’s just good medicine.
9. Surround yourself with people who are kind and care for you.
10. Be there for other people. Mental health care is circular. We can support and care for each other. It’s how we care for ourselves.
Mandy Nolan
