Identity is an important ingredient for emotional health, and one of the best insurances against mental ill health. If we lose it, we lose our individuality. Identity is looking for recognition. But how can we recognise a person’s personality if we are unrecognisable to others, because we don’t stand out?
The loss of a sense of identity is exacerbated by social media and mass media. The loss of identity is escalating into bizarre forms of identity searches. Everyone becomes everyone’s puppet. A lot of people seem to cling to idols in the process, having lost their identity along the way.
Our culture builds sturdy and inflexible walls of conformity. Differences are not easily tolerated. To be different is to be rebellious. Although our consumer culture promotes CHOICE so much, and we are tricked into believing to be independent individuals making choices – everyday – based on values that somehow reflect our identity, in truth we are forced into the same mould.
There is this business with VALUES – often mixed up with identity. Identifying one’s values is a tricky one in a world of utter conformity and same-same – made worse by social media.
My values seem to be the values of thousands of other people, how I dress, eat, talk, like and dislike the same things, live in flats that look like mine. My values are swimming in a sea of blue and I have to keep pretending I am swimming with them.
What do I want to stand for? What kind of person do I want to be?
These are identity questions – difficult to answer. Values reflect my identity as long as they are not borrowed from the dictate of society. Identity is who I am in relation to the world. It’s a two way affair: I need to be an individual and the world to accept my individuality.
This acceptance of the distinct individual is not happening in the collective absurdity of same values, and same look shopping malls, cars, hair styles, dress codes and living rooms.
By getting into something meaningful, for example doing work for environmental groups, to help save our planet, we’ll be able to re-establish our true IDENTITY. Involvement leads us to value healthy environments, and by doing so to find a spot to park our values safely.
Together with having AGENCY our contribution helps to identify the cause. We are part of the dynamics and eventually become part of the solution. We influence the goals and the outcomes. This supports us to get a firmer grip on our own identity. The process is reciprocal and benefits and sustains both the cause and the person’s identity.
What about acceptance of self?
This is closely related to identity and self-esteem. Identity is bound into culture, place of belonging, family ties and beliefs. Cultural identity shapes your personal identity without intruding on your individual core person.
A person with strong identity typically enjoys high self-esteem which in turn supports self-acceptance. Self-acceptance is proactive and not unconditional, whereas self-esteem is innately there. I do not lose self-esteem when I make a mistake. My acceptance of self, however, should be bound into my actions.
Obviously I cannot accept everything I do. But unintended blunders I make should not encumber my self-esteem.
Self-acceptance is a mental attitude that you can adopt. The best way is by applying yourself to a task that is in sync with your personality. Everyone has a set of talents and skills that are needed and useful. Acknowledging your own talents will lead to acceptance of your personality. This is important and it is important to check your past and recall achievements and re-discover your accomplishments in retrospect. It’ll motivate you in a new way.
Self-acceptance and self-esteem are rooted in working towards a better planet
In clean environments that serve the living we are able to nurture that natural self-esteem that belongs to every sentient being. This aspect is critical to maintaining the courage and stamina to engage in community or environmental projects.
As Earth sustains us, we sustain that esteem in us for being alive and belonging to the network of natural eco-systems. Working for the continuation of these fragile systems is feeding back into our self-esteem and secures the regard for the person that we are.
Feel encouraged by focusing on immediate results, small steps, tangible outcomes that provide a positive experience for you and enhance self-acceptance and therefore help with motivation.
The motto is POCO A POCO – little by little – acknowledge the progress and small victories and recognise that your effort can influence the world.
You will soon notice that acceptance of self leads to acceptance into a group of like-minded people. You may feel liked and loved which heightens the feeling of self-worth and furthers your motivation. And it’s a bonus to feel how you can esteem yourself.
Almost all forms of emotional pain can be traced back to the level of your self-esteem, self-worth, identity and acceptance. Establishing a stronghold on these basics gives you a powerful foundation in life.
